Saturday 18 July 2009

Ron Burgundy's Pearls of Wisdom



Just watched anchorman, for the 20th time (btw, anyone else really looking forward to 'Anchorman 2' that is currently 'in development', according to IMDb?) and i thought i would provide a shrine here on this blog to all things Maroon... oh wait, wrong colour xD. Anyway, with the poor jokes over and done with let's get on to the main event.

A little introduction to the greatest jazz flute player alive first:
"His name was Ron Burgundy.He was like a god walking amongst mere mortals. He had a voice that could make a wolverine purr, and suits so fine they made Sinatra look like a hobo."

  • Go fuck yourself San Diego. (too crude to begin with? shock to your system?)
  • I'm Ron Burgundy? Dammit. Who typed a question mark on the Teleprompter?
  • I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.
  • I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly...
  • This little conversation should go down in history xD:

Brian: [about Veronica] I'll give this little cookie an hour before we're doing the no-pants dance. Time to musk up.
Ron: Wow. Never ceases to amaze me. What cologne you gonna go with? London Gentleman, or wait. No, no, no. Hold on. Blackbeard's Delight.
Brian: No, she gets a special cologne... It's called Sex Panther by Odeon. It's illegal in nine countries... Yep, it's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good.
Ron: It's quite pungent.
Brian: Oh yeah.
Ron: It's a formidable scent... It stings the nostrils. In a good way.
Brian: Yep.
Ron: Brian, I'm gonna be honest with you, that smells like pure gasoline.
Brian: They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time it works, every time.

  • Unique New York, Unique New York...
  • Ron [to Baxter] You're so wise. You're like a miniature Buddha, covered in hair.
  • [playing flute solo] Hey, Aqualung!
  • Oh Audrey - I look like hell! I got bags under my eyes. What's that? Well if you were a man, I'd punch you. Punch you right in the mouth. That's bush. Bush league. YOU HEAR ME? AUDREY! LOOK AT ME! I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Alright?
  • [picking his teeth] Ribs. I had ribs for lunch, that's why I'm doing this.
  • What? You pooped in the refrigerator? And you ate the whole... wheel of cheese? How'd you do that? Heck, I'm not even mad; that's amazing. How 'bout we get you in your p.j.'s and we hit the hay.
Ron:Veronica Corningstone and I had sex, and now we are in love!
[Brian shuts office door]
Ron: Did I say that loud?
Brian Fantana: Yeah, you pretty much yelled it.

  • It's so damn hot... milk was a bad choice.
  • The human torch was denied a bank loan.
  • [driving in car, speaking to Baxter] Oh, Baxter, you are my little gentleman. I'll take you to foggy London town 'cause you are my little gentleman. Wow, this burrito is delicious, but it is filling. [throws burrito out the window]
[Ron bribes the announcer]
Announcer: You're watching Channel 4 News with five-time Emmy award-winning anchor Ron Burgundy and Tits McGee.
Veronica Corningstone: Good evening, San Diego. I'm Veronica Corningstone. Tits McGee is on vacation.
Ron Burgundy: And I'm Tits... I'm Ron Burgundy.

  • Knights of Columbus, that hurt.
  • I'm storming your castle on my steed, m'lady.
  • I'm proud of you fellas. You all kept your head on a swivel, and that's what you gotta do when you find yourself in a vicious cock fight.
Ron Burgundy: Wait, Veronica, please tell me this is some kind of sick tasteless joke.
Veronica Corningstone
: You weren't here. Why are you being this way? Why can't you just be proud of me as a peer and my gentleman lover?
Ron Burgundy: I can't believe you did this to me. You read my news.
Veronica Corningstone: I told you that I wanted to be an anchor. I told you that.
Ron Burgundy: I thought you were kidding. I thought it was a joke, I even wrote it down in my diary. Veronica had a very funny joke today. I laughed at it later that night.
Veronica Corningstone: I can't believe that I cared for you.
Ron Burgundy: Get out. Just go. We are through. Through. Because of your actions, you scorpion woman.
Veronica Corningstone: You have broken my heart, Mr. Burgundy. You have broken my heart.

  • You stay classy, San Diego.

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